第13章 CHAPTERIVDOUBTSANDDIFFICULTIES(2)

作者:伊丽莎白·盖斯凯尔

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类型:都市·校园

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更新时间:2019-10-06 10:05

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本章字节:12262字

youcouldnoundersandiall,ifioldyoumyanxiey,foryears


pas,oknowwheherihadanyrighoholdmylivingmyefforsoquenchmysmoulderingdoubsbyheauhoriyofhechurchoh!


margare,howiloveheholychurchfromwhichiamobeshuou!


hecouldnogoonforamomenorwomargarecouldnoellwhaosay;iseemedoheraserriblymyseriousasifherfaherwereabouournmahomean


ihavebeenreadingodayofhewohousandwhowereejecedfromheirchurches,coninuedmrhale,smilingfainly, ryingosealsomeofheirbravery;buiisofnousenouseica


ohelpfeelingiacuely


u,papa,haveyouwellconsidered?oh!iseemssoerrible,soshocking,saidmargare,suddenlybursinginoearsheonesaidfoundaionofherhome,ofherideaofherbelovedfaher,seemedreelingandrockingwhacouldshesay?whawasobedone?hesighofherdisressmademrhalenervehimself,inorderoryandcomforherheswalloweddownhedrychokingsobswhichhadbeenheavingupfromhishearhihero,andgoingohisbookcaseheookdownavolume,whichhehadofenbeenreadingely,andfromwhichhehoughhehadderivedsrenghoeneruponhecourseinwhichhewasnowembarked


lisen,dearmargare,saidhe,puingonearmroundherwaissheookhishandinhersandgraspediigh,bushecouldnolifupherhead;norindeedcouldsheaendowhaheread,sogreawasherinernalagiaion


hisishesoliloquyofonewhowasonceaclergymaninacounryparish,likeme;iwaswrienbyamroldfield,miniserofcarsingon,inderbyshire,ahundredandsixyyearsago,ormorehisrialsareoverhefoughhegoodfighheseswosenenceshespokelow,asifohimselfhenhereadaloud,


whenhoucansnolongerconinueinhyworkwihoudishonourogod,discredioreligion,foregoinghyinegriy,woundingconscience,spoilinghypeace,andhazardinghelossofhysalvaion;inaword,whenhecondiionsuponwhichhoumusconinue(ifhouwilconinue)inhyemploymensaresinful,andunwarranedbyhewordofgod,houmayes,yea,houmusbelievehagodwillurnhyverysilence,suspension,deprivaion,andyingaside,ohisglory,andheadvancemenofhegospelsinereswhengodwillnouseheeinonekind,yehewillinanoherasoulhadesiresoserveandhonourhimshallneverwanopporuniyodoi;normushousolimiheholyoneofisraelasohinkhehahbuonewayinwhichhecanglorifyhimselfbyheehecandoibyhysilenceaswellasbyhypreaching;hyyingasideaswellashyconinuanceinhyworkiisnopreenceofdoinggodhegreaesservice,orperforming


heweighiesduy,hawillexcuseheleassin,houghhasincapaciaedorgaveusheopporuniyfordoinghaduyhouwilhavelilehanks,0mysoul!if,whenhouarchargedwihcorrupinggodsworship,falsifyinghyvows,houpreendesanecessiyforiinorderoaconinuanceinheminisry


ashereadhis,andgncedamuchmorewhichhedidnoread,hegainedresoluionforhimself,andfelasifheoocouldbebraveandfirmindoingwhahebelievedoberigh;buasheceasedheheardmargareslowconvulsivesob;andhiscouragesankdownunderhekeensenseofsuffering


margare,dear!saidhe,drawinghercloser, hinkofheearlymaryrs;hinkofhehousandswhohavesuffered


u,faher,saidshe,suddenlylifingupherflushed,earweface, heearlymaryrssufferedforheruh,whileyouoh!dear,dearpapa!


isufferforconsciencesake,mychild,saidhe,wihadigniyhawasonlyremulousfromheacuesensiivenessofhischaracer;imusdowhamyconsciencebidsihavebornelongwihselfreproachhawouldhaverousedanymindlessorpidandcowardlyhanmineheshookhisheadashewenonyourpoormohersfondwish,graifiedasinhemockingwayinwhichoverfondwishesareooofenfulfilledsodomapplesasheyarehasbroughonhiscrisis,forwhichioughobe,andihopeiamhankfuliisnoamonhsincehebishopofferedmeanoherliving;ifihadaccepedi,ishouldhavehadomakeafreshdecraionofconformiyoheliurgyamyinsiuionmargare,iriedodoi;iriedoconenmyselfwihsimplyrefusingheaddiionalprefermen,andsoppingquielyhere,sranglingmyconsciencenow,asihadsrainedibeforegodforgiveme!


heroseandwalkedupanddownheroom,speakinglowwordsofselfreproachandhumiliaion,ofwhichmargarewashankfulohearbufewashesaid,margare,ireurnoheoldsadburdenwemusleavehelsone


yes!iseebuwhen?


ihavewrienohebishopidaresayihaveoldyouso,buiforgehingsjusnow,saidmrhale,colpsinginohisdepressedma


erassoonashecameoalkofhardmaeroffacdeails,informinghimofmyinenionoresignhisvicaragehehasbeenmoskind;hehasusedargumensandexposuions,allinvaininvainheyarebuwhaihaverieduponmyself,wihouavailishallhaveoakemydeedofresignaion,andwaiuponhebishopmyself,obidhimfarewellhawillbearial,buworse,farworse,willbeheparingfrommydearpeoplehereisacuraeappoinedoreadprayersamrbrownhewillcomeosaywihusomorrownexsundayipreachmyfarewell


sermon


wasiobesosuddenhen?houghmargare;andyeperhapsiwasaswelllingeringwouldonlyaddsingsohepain;iwasbeerobesu


edinonumbnessbyhearingofallhesearrangemens,whichseemedobenearlycompleedbeforeshehadbeenoldwhadoesmammasay?askedshe,wihadeepsigh


ohersurprise,herfaherbeganowalkabouagainbeforeheansweredalenghhesoppedandreplied: